The Concept Of "Marrying Well"

If you're married, or single and of marriageable age, then chances are that you've been told to "marry well" several times. But what does "marrying well" really mean? Ah! That's the million dollar question. Let's dive in shall we?

In my few years as an adult (I'm not that old you know?), I've received several, mostly questionable tips/suggestions on how to marry well which I'll be sharing. Feel free to include any of yours I may have missed.

1) Be A Reacher, Not A Settler - So the rationale behind this piece of advice is that it's better to aim for someone who is generally better than you (reaching), than to manage someone you're better than (settling). This marrying up deal, looks like a good bargain, until you are forced to remember that the person you're reaching for, by the same logic of reaching/settling, is settling for you!

I think the best way to tackle this is to find someone who complements you. If you can't match the person equally (possible but rare) find someone who you're better than in some areas and who is in turn better than you in some other areas. Only then can there be a balance of the force in the partnership. So if  for example, you earn less money than your partner, be sure to be able to "bring it" better than him/her in intelligence or any other areas of your strength.

However, a school of thought argues that settling has its own benefits. When you settle, the person is so grateful to have you that they treat you like royalty. Wow!

2) Find Someone From A Good Home - This seems like good advice, yeah? But what if you find yourself with the black sheep of the family? Hehehe. The supposed "good home" doesn't necessarily mean a "good person" is produced from it. Buyer beware! Also, who says a good person can't come from a supposed "bad home"?

3) Find A Serious Person Ready To Settle Down  "Don't encourage time-wasters". For guys, this means finding a girl who is ready to immediately  throw all caution to the wind and agree to be your wife regardless of whatever your beliefs, values and background are. This could also mean finding a submissive wife A.K.A a girl to do all your bidding... no questions asked. For the girls, this means damning all consequences and being with someone who is ready to grab the bull by the horns and do all the marriage rites in the blink of an eye, even if the guy is abusive and heaven knows what else. Yeeesh!

4) Find Someone Financially Stable - As long as the person has a good job, a house and a car, that's all that matters. Never mind if you're compatible with the person or not. Sha marry first. Hmm! 

Uhmm where do I begin with this one? Well, whether you're a guy or a girl, please make sure you're bringing something to the table... especially girls. Guys of today are looking for someone who'll add to the ministry and not someone who takes away from it. "Oriaku" (Wealth spender) is no longer the case.

5) Look For Someone With Similar Interests - You would think that this means  finding someone with similar goals and visions for the future until you ask the adviser to explain further. Then you find out they really mean someone who's ready to get married and start a family right away. Go back to point no.3

6) Potential Means Nothing - These days, guys are putting the cart before the horse - wanting a girl to get pregnant first before any marriage ties. Forget about the vows of sticking with each other regardless of any situation, if you can't prove that you can bear children, OYO is your case as a single girl.

For the guys - as far as girls are concerned, your potential to be great in the future is a waste of their time and energy. If you're not a "made man" forget about anything that has to do with relationship/marriage for now. Potential indeed. LOL!

7) Attraction Doesn't Matter - Girls, forget tall, dark, handsome guys with rock-hard abs. Guys, forget girls with hourglass shapes and big boobs. Looks don't matter. Even if the person looks like your worst nightmare, just marry, as long as he/she can take care of you, the home and your future kids. The attraction and every other thing will be added to you. Yeeesh! This was understandably effective back in the days of arranged marriages, but how about this age and time?

So that's it from me. Got anymore to add? Did you marry well? Or planning to marry well? Share in the comments!

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