The Rules Of Toasting

Nope, this piece is not about Bread or Drinks. It's about getting a Girl to go out with you. Now that we've cleared up that little detail, remember those movies that come back with a sequel, taking you back to how it all began? Great! Guys, Girlfriends already brought you The Rules Of The Proposal. Now, we'll journey back to the beginning... getting the Girl.

Let's dive in!


1) You're interested in actually asking out and dating the Girl, not random hook-ups. Uh uh!

2) You are single. Otherwise, this isn't for you. Appreciate what you got and sit this one out.

3) Girls you know are single, seem interested in you at first but for some unfathomable reason, refuse to go on dates with  you.

date me


1) First impressions really count so make sure you're well groomed. Except situations where it can't be avoided; say at the gym and you're all sweaty. At the very least, have fresh breath please. Is that too much to ask? 

2) Don't approach her in a group(especially a group of girls). Try to draw her away from the group first. If you ask in front of her friends she'll most likely turn you down plus her friends will whisper and giggle the whole time.

3) Assess the situation when you're talking to her - figure out if she's interested or not. Her demeanor will tell you a lot - does she look at you or touch you? Is she smiling? Those are good signs. On the other hand, is she giving you hints to make you go away? Is she uncomfortable and fidgety and giving you monosyllabic responses? Don't push it, you'll only make it worse. Just gracefully back-off.

4) Be original. Cut out the cliche pick-up lines, they are so yesterday and a BIG turn-off. Also, please don't start out with pidgin or a native language or pet-names... at least until you are sure it's something she's comfortable with. Also, stop the cat-calls and walk up to the Girl. If you're in a Car and she's on foot, come down. Don't ride beside her and expect her to bend and talk to you or hop into your car; she's not a prostitute (well, except if you're really talking to a prostitute. Be sure though or you could lose an eye)

5) Call her the name she gives you. Don't be that annoying guy that insists on knowing her native(second) name if she gives you her non-native (first) name. If she wanted to be addressed by her native name, she'd give you the name first, without your prompting.

6) Don't try to show-off or over-impress. Trust us when we tell you she'll notice anything and everything worth noticing on her own. Confidence is a turn-on, cockiness is a turn-off. Be sure of yourself but know where to draw the line. Don't tell her the model of your car, or how much you paid for your shoes, or that your cologne is a limited edition or that you only fly first-class (*side eye* @ Abuja Guys). She'll ask if she wants to know. Geez!

7) Bring your A-game. The window of opportunity is very small with slim chances of a come-back so, be sure that your game is tight. Why do you think good girls like bad boys? They got good game. Don't know how? Click here

8) Don't be crude. Please get your sh*t together and try to project the best image of yourself. Don't say vulgar or perverted things like asking the colour of her undies or telling her you like big boobs. Why do you do that? Eew! Those are no way to score good points. Also, don't reveal too much at once. A girl just getting to know you doesn't need to know the quality, quantity and overall gory details of the business you did in the restroom that morning. That's just too much information. In addition, please don't send her unsolicited pictures of your naked self. Eek!

9) Respect her personal space. Don't be all up in her face getting saliva all over the poor girl. Woe betide you if her mascara is non-waterproof and you ruin her makeup! The rule of thumb is to be an arm-length away. Thank you.

10) Ask; don't assume it's a done deal just because she's being nice. Don't say "Let's go, I want to take you out" or "Here's my phone, key in your number" Huh? Are you for real?! Don't be surprised if she turns you down when you do that. Ask her if you could get her number and if it's okay to take her out some time. If she says yes, firm up on the schedule; don't just leave things hanging in limbo. Also, if there's a change in plans try your best to RESCHEDULE (always reschedule!) way ahead of time and it berra be for a solid reason.

12) Do the toasting in person; do not send a friend (especially a female. What are you thinking?!) to do the toasting for you. The only other acceptable alternative is via a phone call and that's only due to circumstances like distance. As much as you can, avoid asking a girl out via SMS or social media. That's no tight game, plus she'll chalk you down as a cheapskate who can't afford call credit and let's be honest; no girl wants a cheap date. Please get her number first and use it!

13) Be honest about who you are and your intentions(pure of course). You want her to like you, not the person you are pretending to be, right? Otherwise, the whole thing will be founded on lies and how long do you think you'll be able to keep up with the charade?

14) If she does agree to go on a date with you, please let her know what to expect; where you may be taking her - so she can dress appropriately, if you'll be picking her up/dropping her off or if she has to make her own arrival and departure arrangements, if you expect her to go dutch on the bill - so she can be prepared etc.

Dealing With Rejection : MagnaMags: Bonus - Be prepared for rejection. While I find it very tempting to tell you the above tips will guarantee a girl will go out with you, unfortunately it won't be true. So, somewhere in the back of your mind, know that she may say no and if she does, take it in stride and calmly walk away. Don't be one of those irritating guys that start insulting the girl and saying things like "I want to upgrade your life and you're misbehaving" (*side eye* @ Nigerian Men). Pfft!

PS - If she agrees to go out with you, better make the date worth her while. Otherwise, I'm coming for you!



  1. This one is just too good. Too true as well. Some guys be calling a girl "baby" at first meeting. Such forwardNess. Abeg no baby me if we are just meeting. Mscheeew!

    1. Yes! We need to educate them.

      How else will they learn?


  2. These rules are plenty o, it's not easy to walk up to a girl and start toasting, so make it easy for us but don't be easy if you know what i mean.

    1. Hmm, just for the sake of argument, how do you think the rules can be made easy?

      Don't hijack a Ferrari, if you can't handle it. Simple!

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. Ok just accept a guy that comes as he his, he might not be an A game kind of guy, especially on his first time but you will discover he may really be a nice funny guy that will keep you smiling and laughing all the time. So if you cross him out on the first time you might miss a life time of hilarious. Trust me we get tongue-tied when we seriously start tripping.

    4. Aww, we get that.

      Actually, a girl that likes you won't be deterred if you're shy and stammering. She'll even help you.

      All we are asking is to be treated with respect.

  3. Lmao at unsolicited nude pictures. Guys no dey try sha