The Rules Of The Proposal

A few days ago, Girlfriends brought you The Rules Of The Engagement Ring. Today, we bring you the sequel - the rules you need to follow to pull-off the perfect proposal. 

Guys, this one's for you. We are not even going to be shy or beat around the bush about this one. If you don't get it right, we are saying a resounding NO!

Alright, 'NO' might be extreme but, you're probably already aware of a recent story in the news about a girl who said no to a proposal, allegedly because the Diamond was too small. No? Here' s an overview of the incident - 

 *Click here to read the full story on BellaNaija*

This is exactly what we're talking about. You can't just expect that shoving a ring, any ring, at a girl guarantees a yes. LOL! A proposal is so much more than that. But don't panic, we're here to rescue you. Grab a bottle of beer water, relax sit up and enjoy the ride take notes!

Just in case you don't know, inside every girl of marriageable age is a 7 to 12 year old little girl who has been dreaming of the perfect wedding for years... a fairy tale wedding that begins with the perfect proposal. If you're about to make the commitment to love, cherish and make a girl happy for the rest of her life, you better get that proposal right! She's going to tell the proposal story for years and you don't want to ruin it, do you?


1) You're proposing with a ring (I've heard of engagement necklaces and bracelets and other tokens).

2) Following point 1, the ring is a new acquisition and not a family heirloom being passed on.

3) You've acquired permission from the Father of your intended bride and paid other due respects as appropriate.


1) The Hints - If you haven't had an outright discussion about the kind of proposal she wants, she has probably dropped several hints which you may or may not have picked. Are there some of her rings at your place or in your car? Have you accompanied her to accessories/ring shops in recent times? Has she particularly ooh!-ed and aah!-ed over the execution of a friend's engagement and the accompanying ring in your presence? Aha! Take those hints and hold them dear. Solicit the help of her close friends too. You'd be surprised at how much insight they can give you.

2) The Ring - the ring-band style, the diamond size, the 4Cs of Diamonds have to be adapted to the taste of your intended. Review and stick RELIGIOUSLY to the general idea you get from the hints(or the discussion you had) and you can't go wrong. Otherwise you may be hearing different shades of stories on how she 'lost' the ring and had to replace it. Worse is that you may have to replace it yourself and that's just double the trouble.

3) The Budget - the general rule of thumb in purchasing an engagement ring is to spend 2 or 3 months worth of your salary/earnings (more if you can afford it). Don't skimp on this and go cheap. When things get tough, that ring will put food on your table. Berra start saving up and chalk it down as an investment.

4) The Activity - The activity surrounding the proposal should align with your girl's personality. If she's an outdoorsy extrovert, then by all means, make a big deal of the proposal. Feel free to arrange a sing and dance routine to precede the proposal before a large crowd. If she's more reserved however, you're better off with an indoor, quiet affair at home or a date at a nice and intimate restaurant. Again, ask her friends for help. 

Image result for long speech6) The Big Q - No long speech. Are you a politician? Please have all those talks during your dating/courtship. Let the proposal be about THE PROPOSAL. All that preaching goes into one ear and leaves from the other anyway, so you might as well save your breath. Why bother with the epistle? You already know you want to marry her, right? So, the long talk won't make any difference. Just get on with it already.

5) The Gesture - Get down on one knee - this is not negotiable. Don't sit across a table from her and handover the ring unceremoniously. Even if you're putting the ring in her glass of wine or hiding it in the cake, the moment she discovers it; get on one knee! (except if it's physically impossible to do so).

7) The Words - Say the words. You actually have to say those words. Don't just present a ring and expect a yes. Yes to what? Ask the question, even if you already have it in sky-writing. "Will you marry me?" How hard is that? Some girls prefer you say their full-name and title before the big question - "Lady Tess of the house Girlfriends, the first of her name, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the first Women, Lady of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm, will you marry me?" - or something in that vicinity. You know her better than I do...

8) The Memories - Be sure to capture the entire shindig on camera. Set up a recorder or have a friend take pictures. You know the drill; pictures/video clip or it didn't happen! Sikena

9) Bonus - Ensure she's properly nipped and tucked before you propose. Lure her into getting a new hair-do and a mani-pedi if you have to. Have her dress-up nicely. She needs to be on fleek - off and on camera.

You're welcome!

PS - Given the vast research, energy and time that went into this, if you do not make concrete plans for the actual wedding within one year of the proposal; I'm coming for you!



  1. Proposals are so romantic. I think I'll cry when the times comes ooo. Future hubby should come and learn abeg. It needsto be on point

    1. Hehehe... then send him the link to the post without wasting time.

  2. Dear Engager,
    Please don't put my ring in the cake. I may be tempted to throw the whole cake into my mouth thereby swallowing the ring unknowingly. Do read this post and redefine it.
    The Engagee
    NB: Read it well because I expect a good assignment. Ask my sister and Idiku for expo if you want o

    1. This comment is too funny. Won't you chew the cake first before swallowing?

      I hope the said engager gets to read this though.

  3. I Like that part adapted from game of thrones...hehehehe. Its yoruba women that like that plenty title thing

    1. LOL! I think it's more like a general Nigerian or African thing. We love titles in this part of the world.

  4. 3) The Budget - the general rule of thumb in purchasing an engagement ring is to spend 2/3 months worth of salary(more if you can afford it). Don't skimp on this and go cheap. When things get tough, that ring will put food on your table. Berra start saving up and chalk it down as an investment.

    I find that a bit odd...

    Oh don't get too excited honey... I went BIG so when I lose my job, we can hawk your rock and feed the brats...

  5. OMG! That's a very funny and interesting way to look at it.

    Of course the guy won't say that. It's up to the lady to be understanding enough to pawn the ring if need be... after other options have been exhausted